Spiritual Awakenings Are Not Easy

“Be gentle with yourself.” I always heard my mentors say this as I continued to awaken, grow and dig deeper into my healing and ascension. I didn’t take it too seriously at first, but when I needed those words, my memory called the words back as a reminder because it was necessary.

During this lifetime, you will have many different awakenings. This is not a one-shot program. It seems like it would be lovely to have a Morpheus come to us and offer us a red or blue pill, and then all of a sudden, we hold the answers to the universe, but would it really be lovely, or is it a convenient thought?

First Awakening Stage 1

Like many people, my first brush with awakening happened when I was very young - around five years old. The first awakening stage can last for decades and can even start in one’s 40s. My traumatic or life-changing experiences were happening in my dreams and during my waking times. I was seeing and feeling spirits and having intense dreams of snakes piled on top of each other slithering around. I used to pee on the bed out of fear of what I saw in my dreams and when I was awake. It was terrifying, and I was too scared to get out of the bed.

When I had the courage to get out of bed, I usually ran heart-pounding to my parent's room and snuggled up tight to my mother. I didn’t have the courage to tell her what I saw and felt like I wasn’t supposed to tell her. It was nothing she intentionally did to make me feel this way, I just never heard anyone speak of such things in my presence, so I kept it to myself. As a young mother fully aware of my gifts, I talked to my daughter about my general experiences and the experiences of others, but even she initially held back on telling me about the sights she saw.

First Awakening Stage 2

When I reached my next stage of awakening, I was 12. I started to search for answers in every bookstore and library. The first acronym and phrase I knew to search for was ESP - Extra Sensory Perception. I cannot tell you how Lois Duncan came into my life, but I believe that is where I got the acronym from. While all my peers were into Goosebumps books, I was into the mysteries of Lois Duncan. Her books were teen mystery novels based around specific psychic gifts. I later found out she used real psychics for her research and would eventually turn to those same psychics and mediums to help her discover her daughter’s killer. Her books gave me direction toward discovering more of what we can do as humans by giving me the terminology to look up at libraries and bookstores. They also helped me understand myself with a touch of mystery drama to keep me hooked and hunting for every book she ever wrote for the next few years.  At this stage, I still didn’t feel comfortable sharing my gifts, questions, and concerns with others, but I had no shame in asking the librarians and store clerks for help with the new terms I picked up. This part of my life was hidden from friends, family, and boyfriends for the next six years. Please remember the bulk of this time was still in the 90s, and our computers were still screeching at us to get online.

First Awakening Stage 3

When I was 18 and went to college, I was still researching but also discovering who I was on all levels. I felt more comfortable speaking about who I was and had no shame in possibly being the weirdo. I was the weirdo for a while, and eventually, the people I hung out with came around and started showing interest in my books and cards. My search for answers moved beyond books and conversations. The gifts I was curious about had answers. An inner knowing came over me. The communications from spirits became less subtle. The dreams became more intense. My intuition kicked up into high gear and started saving my life (Check out my TikTok video on a time when my intuition saved my life). I dug deeper into my studies and changed my perspective on life, religion, spirituality, and the world many times in this phase. I got hung up in this phase of awakening for a while because I was out of alignment.

I didn't have anyone to talk to on a deeper level about what I was going through in relation to myself and the world. I was in a deep state of clinical depression at this time in my life. I wouldn’t say it was the fault of the awakening, but I will say that when you are going through an awakening, issues of the past will come up in your direct present as they were in your past or through new persons, places, and situations because of the healing that is necessary for your soul’s journey this lifetime. 

First Awakening Stage 4

The final phase of my first alignment came to me through working with a spiritual mentor who helped me heal. I came to her wanting to improve my spiritual gifts and my life, but she pushed for healing. It wasn’t what I wanted at first, but it was what I needed, and I am forever grateful because she put me in alignment. Every time I have healed, It’s like a weight has been lifted off of my soul, and the world looks different to me. The way I interacted with the world changed. This is good, but it can be painful within itself. You don’t see eye to eye with the people around you anymore and end up losing loved ones. Awakening can feel lonely or make you feel like you don’t belong in this world if you choose to look at it that way. That feeling will pass if it ever exists with you at all. How long it takes to pass depends on you and how you process emotions. I have been blessed to have people who may not agree with me but didn’t turn their backs on me. They agreed to disagree, and we just engaged in healthy discussions. 

Awakening Transformations

Since my first decades-long awakening cycle, I have experienced many more. Thankfully, the cycles are much quicker. Awakenings aren't’ necessarily linear. You can experience more than one at a time that impacts different aspects of your soul, mind, and emotions at different times. Some awakenings impact your relationship with yourself, past, present, and future, while others affect your relationships with your work, creativity, and money, and even still, we can’t forget the awakenings that impact the relationships we have with the people around us - parents, children, friends, lovers and everyone in between. You could have read a book in 2010 and turned around and read the same book in 2022 and got a completely different meaning from the book purely because of the awakenings you’ve been through over time. After your first awakening, you are never the same.

Over time, I learned the power of “I don’t know.” This is why I continue to seek knowledge after all of my awakenings. Due to my awakenings, my positioning changes on certain topics. My judgments of others decreased. My discernment changed. My initial approach to everything was love and light centered until I realized how dangerous that way of thinking was. I got deep into my shadow work to love all of me and to look at the world from a balanced perspective. This is one of the reasons I no longer take any book as “the gospel” of my life. I take in information and feel how it resonates with my soul at that time. If I feel called to do so, I will revisit things at a later time. I lean on my own soul guidance, which is what I can vouch for, and with that understanding, I realize most humans are doing exactly that - writing from their soul guidance and experiences. The same crystal, spirit, book, ritual, and ceremony might not have the same impact on my soul as it did on theirs, and that’s okay. It won’t make me discredit them. I will likely buy the book and crystal and participate in the ritual and ceremony when the time is right for me. A huge part of awakening is understanding yourself, fine-tuning the reception of your inner voice, and being confident in your soul’s knowing -  no matter who comes into your life or what information you intake. 

Be gentle with yourself. Going through an awakening is not easy, but it feels good to be the Indiana Jones of your soul and knowing that all of the artifacts you find are yours. Just know that every awakening has a new level of healing that can sometimes feel like meeting a new King Koopa big boss every time you start to sing about the hills being alive with The Sound of Music. 

Everyone is on their own journey. Your awakening may not look like any of my awakenings, and that’s okay because the emotions experienced during the process will likely be similar. I have helped many people through the awakening process, and I am happy to do so because I don’t like people to feel alone during times that can feel so traumatic and strange.

Check Out This Review From T. Grice

“My sister introduced me to Candace when I started to go through my awakening. I was lost, confused, and honestly thought I was going crazy. So helped me answer questions as to why this was happening to me. She taught me how to protect myself and believe in my experiences. She stayed patient no matter how many questions I asked. She taught me how to really navigate my awakening and how to make it beneficial to my life. I am forever grateful!!!” - T. Grice, Google Reviews

If you are going through an awakening or know someone who needs help, call me, text me, or fill out the contact form. If you aren’t ready to talk but want to keep me on your radar, join my email list.